I got my first job at 16 because of my dad. No, it wasn't because he made an introduction. It was because he told me to stop being useless at home. We got into an argument. I left and fumed as I walked up the street: I'll show him!
I ended up getting a part-time job at the mall. California minimum wage was $7.50 an hour, up from $6.75 the prior few years. That job taught me the value of a dollar.
In college, my dad told me that he didn't care what I studied. Unlike other Asian parents, he never pressured me to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. He didn't force me to carry his dreams. I appreciated that. His only conditions were: 1) that I can provide for myself and my future family, and 2) that I will make more money than him.
The point of a job, he said, is to care for your family, and the point of school is to get a well-paying job. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as it's honest work. A paycheck is a paycheck, he said. I disagreed. Even then, my views on work and education were more holistic - if a bit idealistic - than that.
Today I better understand where he was coming from. My dad immigrated here in 1975 with nothing. He left his hometown, his mother and siblings, and the life he knew back in an uncertain Vietnam. In the U.S., where he didn't know much of the language or culture or institutions, his priorities were clear: First, survival. Second, social mobility. He had to hustle. Not like today's "hustle culture" to make it big. He had to hustle to put food on the table and start a new life.
I disagreed with his views on work and money because I didn't walk in his shoes. I didn't share his struggles. My childhood was largely one of comfort. No, we weren't rich - not by a long shot. In fact, based on household income, the census probably categorized us as "disadvantaged." But growing up, I never felt poor. We had everything we needed, because my dad provided for us.
I'm thankful for his provision and the lessons he demonstrated. Though his messages weren't always delivered with tact and affection, I believe that he always meant well. I don't think it was about the money either. It was much more significant than that: I was born in the U.S., where I've enjoyed many privileges and opportunities he lacked. So he expected more for me and of me.
Well, I'll show him.